Please Excuse My English

Originally, I came to the College of Europe believing I would improve my French and maybe pick up some Dutch and German along the way.  After 8 months here, I realize that the only linguistic change to have occurred in my now overflowing brain is the inability to speak English like a proper native.  You see, I have spent so much time with non-native speakers (Italian, British, French, Greek, Spanish, German, Portuguese, Romanian . . .)  that I have adopted some of their, hmmmm, rather odd phrasing.  So please forgive me when I return and say things like:

"It's true, it's true!" (while waving my hands in front of myself)

"My hairs are dirty; I need to wash them." (I tend to forget that hair is a singular entity where I come from.)

"He seems a monkey."

"Spetta" (wait)

"Uh oh, it looks like the honey is finished."  (meaning there is no more honey left in the bottle)

"If you have time later, we should make a pause together."  (meaning "take a break" together).

"Let's go to the canteen." (rather than the Dining Hall or cafeteria)

"When I was at university." (because people don't understand "college")

"I hope I get good marks this term." (grades)

Please also be warned of the following:

The over use of introductory phrases: "For instance", "Such as", "In addition to" and the list goes on

The random spouting of nostalgic English colloquialisms like "baller", "yo", "peeps", and "homies."  (I have begun using such words to throw my European friends off a bit, but I am afraid the phrases are beginning to stick.)

The use of very Italian (although sometimes improperly employed) hand gestures, just for emphasis.

The occasional "Dank je wel"  or "merci" instead of "thank you" at the check-out.

I am also currently engaged in a debate over when you "brew" tea versus "steeping" it.  

This is just a small glimpse into my everyday struggle with my own language.  If I think of anymore strange phrases I have adopted, I'll be sure to add them to the list.  As it stands, you have been duly warned so you can properly prepare yourselves for my return.  I hope everyone is having a great week.

Peace, Love, and Waffles.